I'm gonna come right out and say I'm not into Elvis Costello.
And the load off my chest is no relief, 'cause the worst is yet to come.
They're a ferocious lot - Costello fans. Nobody's ever kinda into Elvis Costello. Yer in the club for life, mate. I imagine a lot of you have played one of his records for a friend during a night of drinking and said, "This changed my life."
Max showed me a clip of Elvis on Saturday Night Live - and let's face it, you're into Elvis Costello, you're likely into SNL, "...but it's all been downhill since [Phil in the blank] left..." Anyway, Elvis starts playing one song - and it sounds great - but then he stops half way through, waves at the other guys to stop playing, then starts another song. Apparently there was something political behind it. Max claimed it was one of the greatest moments in television (this blog's for the Harvey Pekar crowd). I'm sure it was, but I didn't much care.
So here's my first problem: First off, I just can't find the time. I've got shitloads of other music I need to listen to first. I'm already up to my eyeballs. I'm starting a blog for stoner nerds and one of the first entries is going to be an in-depth look at Exile on Main St, which is going to take the better part of an afternoon, but it's going to be great fun. Plus I'm about to get a mic for my Dobro, which is going to send me on a week-long blues binge leaving me out of booze, out of weed and sitting in my filthy apartment trying to learn bluegrass licks from Jimmy Heffernan records, provided I can find any. You gotta eat and drink a lot of mysteriously-labeled things before you get out of that fuckin' rabbit hole. Believe me.
To top it off, I'm probably going to end up trying to make a gramophone from a kit and cutting records on the lids from instant noodle containers. More on that in future blog entries.
So no, I can't get into Elvis Costello right now. The timing's just not good at the moment. I'm going to need a couple of years, and I expect a fair bit of money, 'cause I'm gonna want the CDs. Maybe if the gramophone's loud enough I'll get some of his records.
And then where am I gonna start? Should I just listen to all his stuff in the order he released it like I did with Lou Reed, or is there one record I absolutely have to own and I'll get into the rest later like I did with Led Zeppelin, The Beatles and Bowie.
Or do I get one of his latest that nobody pays attention to, form a bond with it, marvel at its magnificence, then get into his other stuff. I mean, that's how I got into the Stones. Christmas, 1995. I wanted The Beatles Anthology, and my parents got me The Rolling Stones Stripped. Still one of my favourites.
So yeah, I'll get into Elvis Costello, but in my own time. And I'll be one of the club's most zealous members, I promise. I'll go Amway on this motherfucker. I will be the most insufferable Elvis Costello fan the world has ever seen. Watch out world!
Or maybe I'll get into David Byrne instead...
And the load off my chest is no relief, 'cause the worst is yet to come.
They're a ferocious lot - Costello fans. Nobody's ever kinda into Elvis Costello. Yer in the club for life, mate. I imagine a lot of you have played one of his records for a friend during a night of drinking and said, "This changed my life."
Max showed me a clip of Elvis on Saturday Night Live - and let's face it, you're into Elvis Costello, you're likely into SNL, "...but it's all been downhill since [Phil in the blank] left..." Anyway, Elvis starts playing one song - and it sounds great - but then he stops half way through, waves at the other guys to stop playing, then starts another song. Apparently there was something political behind it. Max claimed it was one of the greatest moments in television (this blog's for the Harvey Pekar crowd). I'm sure it was, but I didn't much care.
So here's my first problem: First off, I just can't find the time. I've got shitloads of other music I need to listen to first. I'm already up to my eyeballs. I'm starting a blog for stoner nerds and one of the first entries is going to be an in-depth look at Exile on Main St, which is going to take the better part of an afternoon, but it's going to be great fun. Plus I'm about to get a mic for my Dobro, which is going to send me on a week-long blues binge leaving me out of booze, out of weed and sitting in my filthy apartment trying to learn bluegrass licks from Jimmy Heffernan records, provided I can find any. You gotta eat and drink a lot of mysteriously-labeled things before you get out of that fuckin' rabbit hole. Believe me.
To top it off, I'm probably going to end up trying to make a gramophone from a kit and cutting records on the lids from instant noodle containers. More on that in future blog entries.
So no, I can't get into Elvis Costello right now. The timing's just not good at the moment. I'm going to need a couple of years, and I expect a fair bit of money, 'cause I'm gonna want the CDs. Maybe if the gramophone's loud enough I'll get some of his records.
And then where am I gonna start? Should I just listen to all his stuff in the order he released it like I did with Lou Reed, or is there one record I absolutely have to own and I'll get into the rest later like I did with Led Zeppelin, The Beatles and Bowie.
Or do I get one of his latest that nobody pays attention to, form a bond with it, marvel at its magnificence, then get into his other stuff. I mean, that's how I got into the Stones. Christmas, 1995. I wanted The Beatles Anthology, and my parents got me The Rolling Stones Stripped. Still one of my favourites.
So yeah, I'll get into Elvis Costello, but in my own time. And I'll be one of the club's most zealous members, I promise. I'll go Amway on this motherfucker. I will be the most insufferable Elvis Costello fan the world has ever seen. Watch out world!
Or maybe I'll get into David Byrne instead...
